Grow in confidence/Find hope/Create a secure home base
Understand your kids/Take the lead/Enjoy your kids more
Parenting is our most important job, but many of us find it much more difficult than we expected. In a culture which assumes that consequences or time-outs are the answer to every problem, it is difficult to find our way when things aren’t working for our children. Rather than throwing consequences at symptoms, Pamela focuses on uncovering the roots of problem behaviour so that trouble can be understood, prevented, and attended to at its source. With a strong emphasis on restoring, building, and preserving the relationships between parents and children, Pamela walks the maze of parenting with her clients.
These appointments are for parent(s) and other care providers. It is best if your child is NOT made aware that you are seeking help to understand them. I do not work with children directly, but only through the child’s adult care-takers. It is best if your child is not made aware of the nature of your visit.
Parent consulting is distinctly different from counselling, psychotherapy or psychoanalysis. Pamela has been trained by Dr Neufeld in his approach, but is not a certified therapist or counsellor. Since parent coaching does not constitute medical consultation or treatment, health insurance does not apply.
How do I start?
I invite you to start with an introductory consultation. I consult with my clients both in my SW Seattle office, (Thursday office hours only) and via Skype, so you can consult with me wherever you live or whatever your travels. I schedule an extra fifteen minutes (no extra fee) for introductory appointments to give you plenty of time to tell me about your child/teen, and your concerns, and will send you home with insight into the dynamics at work and practical ideas to keep in mind as you move forward.
I offer a number of options for further consultation:
If you have already seen me for an introductory consultation and you want to schedule a single session from time to time when faced with a perplexing or frustrating parenting situation, or just to get a head's up regarding your child's current development, I would be pleased to see you for a 75 minute tune-up.
This package includes three 75 minute consultations, which you can schedule as you wish within six months. It is a good plan for parents of very young children, or for those with older children or teens who are not experiencing overwhelming difficulties, but simply want to do all in their power to understand their kids' developmental needs - what to expect, what constitutes the normal noise and mess of childhood, what are trouble signs, how can we do our best to prevent long-term difficulties. These are the kinds of questions we'll be addressing. We'll make a start at evaluating your child/ren's present needs, and take a close look at the growing child-parent relationship and your current parenting practices in order to make the best decisions going forward. Together we will work to create the conditions your child/ren need to provide their best chance to flourish and reach their full developmental potential. Three sessions gives you a chance to go home and evaluate, try some things, and come back for some perspective on what is working and what isn't.
This plan includes three 75 minute consultations, which you can schedule as you wish within six months. This is a good plan for those parents who are experiencing parenting challenges. Whether these challenges consist of a tantrumming two-year-old, an aggressive four-year-old, a bossy pre-teen, a teen who keeps running away, or any number of other challenges, these three sessions will give you some good insight into where this behaviour is coming from, and will start you on the road to making things better. Three sessions provide a good start, as you will have the chance to go home and evaluate, try some things, and come back for perspective on what is working, what isn't, and why. The Neufeld approach is insight-based. That means that I do not provide a how-to program, but rather help you to see and understand the dynamics at work in your child, and support you in providing what they need to grow into maturity. This is a very individualized way of empowering you to be your child's best bet.
Because this is a developmental approach, there are few quick fixes. It takes time for children to mature, and even more time if they are intense, sensitive, or stuck and are exhibiting a lot of challenging behaviour. A commitment to regular consultations can go a long way toward troubleshooting the impediments you are facing in parenting your child, while providing you with the insight and encouragement we all so often need. Even when things are going relatively well, parents tell me repeatedly that after our consults things go better at home for a week or two before they (the parents!) start to lose their focus. These mums and dads have found it so helpful to plan for more frequent consults: weekly or twice-monthly sessions are a great way to keep your parenting goals in mind even when things get tough.
6 Month Plan: six months of parenting support with two consults of 75 mins each per month.
3 Month Plan: three months of parenting support with four consults of 75 mins each per month.
As a loving, devoted parent who is committed to providing a safe, stable, and nurturing home for my children (ages 6 and 8), I were desperate to understand the difficulties we were experiencing. Pamela helped me to understand and apply the Neufeld material, resulting in a profound transformation in my family. I am no longer afraid of the direction my children are headed in. Pamela has altered my perception of what I see in my kids and the Neufeld approach has literally saved our family.
Pamela's understanding of Dr. Gordon Neufeld's work is outstanding; as a result of working with her, our parenting has been transformed...and our children, including the two who joined our family through adoption, are the beneficiaries. our work with Pamela has 'saved our bacon' as parents; we have really appreciated her input into our family life.
Pamela's insight into what children really need has made such a positive impact on my parenting and in my teens' lives. I walk away from every session with greater understanding, new ideas, and feeling more confident that I can be and do what is needed.
Mother of teen boys,
Dear Pamela, I just wanted to send you a quick note to say how consequential your help has been. My boy is now thriving: his anxiety is minimal and manageable, his relationship with his brother has transformed into a lovely friendship, and I have never felt so confident and calm in my parenting. To genuinely enjoy the time we spend together is priceless. Thank you.
Rowan, Quebec, Canada
I wanted to develop closer relationships to my two teenage children despite all the advice that pushes them quickly out into world. Pamela has offered me solid research on why maintaining closeness to our children matters.
She has offered a deep listening and a seeing of me and my relationship with my kids and nurtured me in doable, meaningful ways to establish connections with them. I’m a happier and better parent because of her.
Custom In-Home Immersive Parenting Workshop
New this year, I have cleared just a few weekends in order to offer a few clients a custom private immersive parenting workshop in their homes. In consultation with you I will create a program for your family which will include observation, friendly interactions with with you and your children, and consultation and teaching for you, the parents, without the children present. This not a Super Nanny model - I will not be parenting your children for you, nor will we talk about your children or about parenting them in their presence. I am delighted to offer you the opportunity to bring me to spend time with you in your home for two to four days, where I will meet your children as you go about your regular lives, observing the dynamics and interactions at play, and providing you with the insight that will equip you to be the parent you are longing to be. Contact me for more information.